Post by callierose on Mar 2, 2005 21:55:33 GMT -5
Smart A-- Answer #5:
> >
> > A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
> > tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and
> > he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
> >Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your
ticket not your stub."
> >
> > *****************
> > Smart A-- Answer #4:
> >
> >A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
> >but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a
stock boy,
> > "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
ma'am, they're dead."
> > *******************
> > Smart A-- Answer #3:
> > The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding
> >rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the
cop
> >said.
> > The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
> >the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without
a ticket.
> > ***********************
> >Smart A-- Answer #2:
> >A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that
> >reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
> >ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up
> >for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his
> >car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and
says,
> >"Got
> >stuck, huh?"
> >The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of
> >gas."
> ***********************
> > AND NOW........FOR .............THE..........
> > #1 SMART A-- ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004.......................
> > A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
> >
> > "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
> >tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
> >injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's
it,
no
> >other excuses whatsoever!"
> >A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
> >asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
> >from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
> >The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When
silence was
> >restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,
> >shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to
> >write the exam with your other hand."
> >
> > A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
> > tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and
> > he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
> >Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your
ticket not your stub."
> >
> > *****************
> > Smart A-- Answer #4:
> >
> >A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
> >but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a
stock boy,
> > "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
ma'am, they're dead."
> > *******************
> > Smart A-- Answer #3:
> > The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding
> >rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the
cop
> >said.
> > The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
> >the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without
a ticket.
> > ***********************
> >Smart A-- Answer #2:
> >A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that
> >reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
> >ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up
> >for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his
> >car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and
says,
> >"Got
> >stuck, huh?"
> >The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of
> >gas."
> ***********************
> > AND NOW........FOR .............THE..........
> > #1 SMART A-- ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004.......................
> > A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
> >
> > "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
> >tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
> >injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's
it,
no
> >other excuses whatsoever!"
> >A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
> >asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
> >from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
> >The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When
silence was
> >restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,
> >shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to
> >write the exam with your other hand."